Silent Recollection
by AmarillosAmpharos
Summary: Sesshoumaru is suddenly left to contemplate his life up till now. When the tears of a little girl make him realize the error of his ways.


Silent Recollection

Disclaimer: Don't own Inuyasha, don't claim to own the characters. This story is just a Fan work so don't be stupid fucks.

Comments: I was getting tired of everyone being deranged fucks and making sesshoumaru into a deranged fuck. So in hopes of redeeming himself, I have written this. Enjoy

Sesshoumaru sat in the cave opening watching the rain fall outside, he could hear lightly in the echo of the cave the light breathing of both Jaken and Rin. He let himself relax against the hard stone against his back, he sighed gently as he looked lazily at his hands. How many lives he'd taken with these hands alone, How many deaths he'd witnessed with his own two eyes. Somehow in that thought he felt something within him stir, he laid his head back gently against the wet stone closing his eyes softly. Letting his ears and mind reach out into the storm outside of the cave opening .

He didn't know how long he'd stayed like that, listening to the tip tap of the rain on the ground. Soon a soft, small hand startled him out of his world, and brought him to the here and now. He opened his eyes softly and looked down at Rin who was looking up at him softly, tears rolling down her face. He looked at her, the tears, somehow resembled not only the rain outside, but the pain he felt deep somewhere in the corner of his heart and soul.

Rin hiccupped softly as she cried "Se…Sesshoumaru-sama" she sobbed quietly, and moved and hugged him suddenly. Her small arms didn't reach much, he sat startled as she hugged him. Inside, he felt suddenly very confused, as he watched the black haired girl cry into his shirt clinging on to it as if she'd not want to lose something dear. He blinked at her as her tears penetrated the fabric of his shirt, somehow her tears were penetrating more than his shirt. It felt as if she were ripping open a heart he'd thought for ages lost under an unbreakable wall of hate and malice.

He reached to hug her and suddenly stopped as he let his hand fall softly. How could he think of touching something that innocent and pure with his hands that had slain thousands of innocent lives. He looked at his hand sadly, they looked clean to the untrained eye, but to his eyes, and his eyes alone, he saw the blood of thousands stained upon them. As if etched into his very skin, his very being, they would remain with him through his many youkai years.

Rin looked up at him softly meeting with his eyes, he looked at her. He swore, in those childish eyes, deep within there was a sorrow unspoken. A sorrow not even time dared to heal, the sorrow of losing a loved one. He looked at her, in the deep endlessly black eyes, he blinked when he saw something else there. Not sorrow, but complete and total admiration, something he'd never seen a human give him so completely. He felt his heart jump a bit at the love in her eyes, he felt if he had the ability he might have blushed or even voiced what he felt. Still his wall remained, complete and intact not even the eyes of a little girl who loved him so dearly was able to penetrate his calm composure.

He sighed and closed his eyes softly, as her soft voice reached his ears "Sesshoumaru-Sama…please hold me" she asked quietly. He opened his eyes slowly, and looked at her as her eyes pleaded with him. Somehow he felt she needed the warm, and strength of someone she adored right now. What ever she had dreamed, it was indeed something that had shaken her greatly. He reached and hugged her small, frail body under his massive arm, as she curled against him softly. He felt her shaken breaths as she'd managed to stop crying, but she still seemed so afraid. He looked at the top of her head, he let himself take note of the tears and rips that had started to form. He let his eyes wonder further as he noticed how dirty her skin seemed, he realized how she must not have had a bath for several days. He looked closely at her hair and noticed that there was some sort of human infestation there as well. He sat and suddenly reality sunk into him heavily, as if it were violently invading his body.

He was a horrible caretaker of a girl who, despite that, loved him dearly. He leaned his head back closing his eyes, he felt his heart swell softly as he pulled her closer to him almost instinctively. He hoped in some way, the gesture would let Rin know how ultimately sorry he was for having neglected her. He let his mind wonder back, as he heard Rin's voice calling out his name, he recalled the times she would just talk and talk without end. How he wished he'd listened then he wanted now, to know what she had said even if they held no relevance to him or to the world.

He opened his eyes again, feeling Rin's breathing had become normal as he looked at her again. He felt the first of a smile creep across his lips as he realized she'd fallen asleep in his arm, he reached with his other hand and moved her bangs softly aside looking at her as she slept.

He leaned back comfortably, but easily so he wouldn't disturb her. He looked outside as the rain slowly began to stop. He looked softly as he saw the first of the moon, he felt a sudden calm creep into him. Having Rin in his arms so close was comforting, her warmth so close to him, it was so nice. A simple pleasure beyond that of any sexual or physical pleasure one may feel. A simple gesture, and over all a simple place of peace for his haunted mind.

He looked at his sword hilts gently, and ran his hands over them. Maybe it was time he give up chasing Inuyasha, and learned to live. He knew he had a castle, a kingdom awaiting him and most of all, there was a little girl waiting for him. He felt again the swell in his heart, he promised silently that he would give her the best he could offer. He would protect her from the sorrow in her heart and give her someone to share that sorrow with. He would give her all he could, even if it meant the possibility of pain, he wanted to see her smile and keep her smiling for as long as she lived.

He would protect her happiness, and through that give her what ever she may want…even if it wasn't his heart. He would be more than happily allow her to marry who ever she felt right, as long as when she was scared and afraid…she would find refugee in his arms and allow him to ultimately protect her from all the demons that may haunt. For the girl who saved him from himself, he would hand over the world and skies. For the girl who offered him the warmth of love, he would gladly die and in this he would die in peace. He thought his final thought, as he laid his head back and closed his eyes, and found his own place in heaven as slept took him over, and allowed him true peace with a smile.


End file.
